Amberations

Saturday, February 28, 2004
captain morgan.... is gay.

It's amazing that I can string any words together in my state of post-retardedness. Seriously, captain morgan is not one of my favourite people right now. And look at the bottle. He's evil. He's sneering and thinking evil thoughts of getting you mad hammered. And he always gets his way, believe me.

Damn, I'm so much better with Winter because she's always more drunk than me. I think I had this epiphone at 4am or so when I realised I couldn't understand what mikeys was saying or see anything sans double vision. A brutal ass kicking... just brutal..... and as if to piss on my current state of washed-up'dness Andrea is now telling me that it's time to leave for snowboarding. So, a question now, why do we do this to ourselves? I prefer the sober Amber to the drunken Maurice, and yet.....
I gots to run now

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004
I swear- that door jumped right out in front of me

Been dazed and confused for so looooonnng... well, 8 hours is long enough.
Seeing as I just walked into a semi-closed door I thought I’d say that if per chance I die in my sleep tonight I would like lilies at my funeral. Oh yeah and I want them to play Van Morrison’s “into the mystic”, and have a big ol’ beach keggar after with guitars and inscense and shit.
I need some sleep yo!
But first I will share with you my conclusion for the day: lists are good. There will never be enough lists. Making a stupid list will make anyone feel better. I highly recommend it.
As your role-model (YES YOU!), I will make a sample to do/to don’t list for my own livelihood. Perhaps it will apply to you. Let us all remember how truly washed-up I feel today.

AMBER'S TO DO LIST
- sleep
- eat a green thing everyday
- don’t drink so much coffee
- don’t drink so much beer
- stop stressing over boy
- stop stressing over stressing
- stay away from Winter (just kidding fiancée!)
- keep inner monologue inner
- play with giggle ball
- cuddle with Simon the cat
- make more lists

See? I feel better already except for this blasted headache.
Hopefully I didn't confuse anyone today.

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Monday, February 23, 2004
You can’t always get what you want

I heard that stones song in the lab today and I think it’s stupid. “you get what you need”? Is that supposed to be uplifting or what? Because if all I got out of life were the things I needed then I don’t think I’d be too motivated. I want I want I want!! I want to shake this sulky brat mode I’m in but at the same time I seriously want to have a tantrum right now. I want chocolate and my cat and a hug and BC and ZRA to work and and and and !!!! ARGH!

Luckily this weekend I had distractions (eh Winter) and some good exercise to make up for it, but I still feel so mad at the world in general! Grrrr world you are weaksauce! Weak I say! Whoever said that your 20s are one of the most confusing times in your life is quite right; one day I'm excited about everything around me and the next I think it's all gay.

So Thank you to whomever is reading this and feeling sorry for me; haha I'm sooo kidding but for some reason it gives me the warm fuzzies knowing that you read the negative shit I spew out on this thing…. are you crazy?
I think it's time for me to do something brainless but I'd just like to say that, although I bitch and complain about my have-nots (is that a word cuz I like it), I'm feeling pretty lucky to be eating this delicious rice krispie square. and no that isn't a metaphor because we all know rice krispie squares seriously rule.

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Thursday, February 19, 2004
Mean Quizzes Suck

I HATE QUIZZES; Especially mean quizzes. They suck. There are too many mean quizzes.
THANK YOU QUIZ I CAN NOW LOOK FORWARD TO BEING THE DEAD END ON MY FAMILY TREE.
and psoriasis? it asked me nothing about this. gay quiz. though I must admit the insults are kinda funny (results below)

HASH(0x8a95b9c)
You're "The Ugly One". You don't look so
good. You might want to look into some
medication for your psoriasis. You have a
crush on every boy, but you'll never get any of
them.




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Wednesday, February 18, 2004
the world is my giggle ball!

Winter was just telling me about this toy she has called a ‘giggle ball’. when you throw it, it giggles until eventually you start giggling too. I think I’m just hyper right now because throwing things and making noise sounds especially appealing.
Man, what a gaybar day I am so unmotivated!! Work ending is my motivation today along with coffee, gym, FUBAR and god knows what else. Man, I love mullets. I also love Deaner and Tron. GIV ERRR!!!!
So today instead of working I’ve had some quality chat time with my girls. And guess what? They are all bummerfielded over guys. This I cannot understand. It is a strange time of year for some guys I think; they seem confused and hormonal and lonesome. All of a sudden they are stopping by, calling all the time, crying, or trying to get layed. Not that I am complaining but perhaps it always was like this and I had forgotten in my former state.
Well, that’s enough of the inner monologue for today. I need a message to convey though.
Ummm Mullets Rule, guys are trouble with or without mullets; everything is trivial and does anyone know where I can get a giggle ball?
(hee hee hee)

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Monday, February 16, 2004
I smell bullshit

Bullshit is everywhere; there is no escape. The chronic bullshitter pisses me off almost as much as ZRA, for the level of bullshit endured in an average day is already unreal, unreal. There’s the wannabe phD boss with the inflated feeling of self-approval, the pompous nerd explaining why linux has changed his life for the better, the hairdresser crying over your hair’s severe protein deficiency…. it doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t mean anything.

But you know, bullshit can be a good thing. With the exception of Friday night, I had a weekend full of drunken bullshit- just great. Jess, Stef, Greg, and I bullshitted around the dinner table on Sat night before getting wasted at the Peel- that bullshit we don’t remember. However I woke up the next day to recollect one bullshit faux pas d’Amber (thanks beer, thanks) and decided to try and laugh it off which was, of course, complete bullshit.

Thank god my fiancée Winter came home Sunday night to set me straight after this trauma and my day of ogling shexay Concordia hockey players. Naturally the two of us felt the need to bullshit over fine wine and two too many pitchers at the Brass only before invading the Holmstead boys’ haus to discuss human mutilation technique in horror movies.

Apparently I'm confusing people in my hungover state so I'll just erase my focked up conclusions I had up here initially.

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Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Alcoholism isn’t that bad, give it a chance

This Valentine’s day I will say Yes to the wine and No to the cheese that comes with this holiday of silliness. Valentine's day is so gay. Why worry about Valentine’s Day? There is no Saint Valentine. There is no romantic history behind this day- it was made up by friggin hallmark. Besides, everyone knows that the best way to spend Valentine's day is to sit at home with your friends and a damn bottle of wine, and get smashed. You betchyas. Saves everyone a lot of nuisance and cash.

The only good thing to come out of Valentine's Day is those yummy little red cinnamon hearts we all love.

now who wants BEER SLUSHIES?

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Tuesday, February 10, 2004
I am right.

I’ve decided that ZRA in its core is completely useless. It doesn't spawn any theory that is indisputable, it isn’t reliable, and it messes with everyone’s heads. Unless throwing the whole set-up out the window will cause the destruction of heat exchangers, why waste time with this. The aluminum corrodes. Alright, WE GET IT. Move on. Then as if to chunder all over my superior judgement, Banbury has ZRA results coming out their yangs. That reminds me of how much I hate aluminum. Why does everyone want aluminum? There is too much aluminum.

Maybe studying this ZRA thing gives my boss a sense of using his brain for real. Maybe I should conduct a study on my own theories as to why it’s a bunch of crap. Maybe I am just smarter than everyone else and I should take over this place.

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Sunday, February 08, 2004
something in my liberty?

A funny drunken cliché:
So I'm home now .. had a great time surprisingly... after the bar winter took me to the boys' house where there was st. germain blarin' and people who liked discussing plump djs.. it's been a while and I was luvin it. And Simon the cat was too cute. meeeyow.
Then I got home but was still having fun. Got bored listening to music so I checked my email, and had an apiphone! I noticed that it was the first time that night I'd actually thought about it all, which was weird yet strangely satisfying.
Anyways, I think that's a good thing and it's going to be ok... :)
nite
PS: I'm engaged!

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Friday, February 06, 2004
EVERYTHING IS FOCKED EVERYBODY SUCKS- YES YOU!

Isn't it great how the focking cheese throws all the damn curveballs at once?
I do try to be positive but sometimes.... venting is far more important. I can't handle people who try to get sympathy so before I begin to wallow in my cave of self-pity let's make this clear: I am just bitching. I prefer this method rather than tormenting you in person, and I will get over it shortly.
So back to the focking big cheese- who is this guy? He has it out for me fo shizzle. First he whallops me with a shitty ass dose of family ca-ca and "DUH" as I try to write up my findings over the past 8 months, then he sucks the life right out of a gongsta with insomnia, then he makes me miss my mtl weekend with nice ppl, then tonight he makes the boy propose a a "break" as if it were big mac monday or sumpin. Arrr Fuck this shit I says. Makes a pirate wonder if she ought to stop blamin' the big cheese for peasoup skies.
On a goodnote, I'm pretty sure things won't get much worse, so I will go by what I say to my friends when in a similar state of embitterment: "well, things always get better". Yes they do.
Maybe tomorrow!

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Monday, February 02, 2004
I like concentrated OJ

I'm still restless tonight, after work, gym and cleaning everything in sight so I thought I'd write normally rather then preaching or swearing at the world.

WEEKEND:
was cool- a fair bit of tomfoolery went down at the usual k-towne locations fri and sat... da Winter and I ended up at her fav bar, then sat around listening to good ol' tunes at 199U for a while before getting schmashed at the Alcan Haus superbowl sunday. pretty standard, really.

WORK PAIN:
My ex-boss finally decided to make me finish my report for Friday (I find this amusing, really I do) and tomorrow I have to present my new shiza to this french ZRA guru of sorts.
Oh, that twinge of anxiety just nabbed me in the stomach again; pesky that.

WORK JOY:
We're going to Montreal this weekend!! Yep, it's going to be me, mikeys, shar, sam, saito, chrissy and duncan.
I also have a new office mate, Cupcake, who is just such a happy cupcake. The machine downstairs still has rice krispie squares, and my new quasi-evil quasi-boss wears one of those hip sacks from the 80s, which is fun. So things are looking up.

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