Amberations

Wednesday, March 31, 2004
The Idiocy is coming along rather well...

My evil alternate ego Maurice and I are fusing together at the head. Like Siamese twins, like two evil peas in a pod. He wouldn't like it if I left him behind so I've decided not to fight his presence any longer. It would only bring unpleasantry that I would rather avoid. And he's doing well, Maurice. He even made a special new friend named Felix last night at the Peel Pub.

So the story goes, Wint and I, angry at the world in general, took off to the Peel for a pitcher and some good chat rations. One pitcher turned into two, 3 evil boys bought us more beer and 4 orgasms (shots you sickos!); before we knew it Winter and Amber had retired for the evening only to be replaced by Maurice and Felix. Funny that seems to happen all too often, but the way I see it, the world revolves, the world consumes, and the world will someday come to an end- So why worry? May as well have some drinks, get a hot one, get revenge, get something.

What Winter needed to get last night was a road sign. So after Peel and a hazy Smidgies experience, my accomplice found her sign/victim. Unfortunately clawing at the bolts and shaking the daylights out of the sign proved uneffective. So signless and in drunken-genius-stealing mode, I spotted some lawnchair cushions as big as my body on a dark porch. Oh yes, we were going to have a good sleep all right. We grabbed a cushion and ran back to the Winter's house cackling evilly. Then we ran back and got another.

Tired, we went up the stairs to Winters room while bailing uncontrollably between guffaws to set up camp. I, on the couch with cushion#1, she, on the bed with cushion#2. I remember thinking how gloriously comfortable I was with my huge cushion as I passed out.

And the point of all this is? Well, the little things exist merely so that the important ones never get dealt with. That's why you can steal lawnchair cushions and, at the same time, refuse to buy used pillows at value village.
So try not to forget that we are all, every one of us, entirely ridiculous. Nite!

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Monday, March 29, 2004
Below me arrogance

Arrogance is pointless and gay. There is too much pomposity in this fockin town man. People get so overcome by their own greatness that any compassion they have left is devoted to themselves. All this leads to is a lonesome-ass pompous-filled existence as one becomes more and more incapable of finding anyone worthy of their time. I really like the word pompous. pompous pompous pompous. pompous.

So you know you’re the best, but guess what? There is no point to your uniqueness if you have no one to share it with; and guess what else? No one will ever want to be around you unless you also realize the awesomeness of others. Maybe I’m messed up as hell and maybe I’m more normal than you will ever be. Maybe you should just check a textbook and see what it says because I've been wondering about that myself.

Sorry for the rantage here but I’m so weary of people blathering to me about their goodwill and perfect behaviour, then passing judgement on someone they feel is below them an hour later. We all need each other to fill our own gaps in some way; we all have something to offer, so why be a haughty ass? ok this isn’t making sense. Goddamn where is that textbook.

Alrighty then, now that I've confused y'all, have a super Monday!

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Friday, March 26, 2004
all hell for a peanut butter sandwich

"you're like ginger, and mary-ann combined"
Best pick-up line ever. Especially coming from a guy with an incredible beard and texan accent. Maybe Texas isn't just about Salsa and people crying "remember the Alamo"....

You know, I was a little depressed sitting here at my desk as cupcake ate his peanutbutter sandwich. My life is one big gong these days dammit I need some fockin challenge. ZRA works, gym is same old, there is no snow for skiing, no sun for beaching, everyone is a dumbass and my mind is becoming lazy oh god THIS IS A CRISIS OR SOMETHING!

Do I need to make a list? Hm, perhaps.

things I am thinking about:
-peanut butter sandwiches
-boys
-rum

well, that sucked. see how simple my mind has become?

Perhaps I should explain the list. So last night Ajs was trés gay I don’t know why I bother. Anyways I ended up leaving the bar early because they weren’t playing any beats and honestly, there’s only so “ooohhh woah woah” music one can handle. So I dropped off Winter at Sketchies and carried on home only to have a visitor requiring peanut butter sandwiches, he passed out in my bed as I slaved over the damn things, then Jon shows up all wasted from Stages. At this point my mind was a little bit coo-coo already but luckily he wasn’t into the sandwich scene and left in disgust. Then I woke up Mr. Peanut and he too, left in disgust. Sorry men, the only rations you're getting are of the sandwich type.

Does any of this make sense? Non. Do these people care about me? Not sure. Did I eat too many peanut butter sandwiches? Hell ya, it was the only fulfilling thing going on last night.
Anyways, a blog of pointlessless this is; hopefully I’ll have something new and exciting to share soon but I’m off to the grocery store to get like, lettuce or sumpin.

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Wednesday, March 24, 2004
turn down the suck (and the Nickelback)

Man, some of the "big" canadian music scenesters are a dayam disappointment. And I blame Nickelbunk oops I mean Nickelback for everything. Like, where is the musical genius and creativity here? Is there one song where Mr. Blonde Jesus isn't crying about his chick via a shallow rift and bad drumming? And besides the fact he looks like Jesus is there Spiritual aspect to any of it (and I don't mean in a religious sense)?

Being a fan of the sinister though I must admit that I enjoy this evil-looking lead singer, and I ummm guess they're good at what they do (and that's suck). It's just a disappointment that so many people pay attention to this commmercially-friendly shit along with DEFAULT and THEORY OF A GAYMAN or whatever; which are replicas of these dudes.

They are bang on with the band name though as I could see myself bitching "Hey man, give me my nickel back" after one of thier boooooring-ass shows.

Anyways, just wanted to share my frustrations here as the radio has been infested with this shit all morning. Like, if you must go mainstream, why not pay more attention to Canadian music of substance for example Matt Good; Matthew Good's music is extremely expressive and Spiritual (again not in a "God" kind of way) with lyrics of interest and guitar rifts of creepiness.

I will cut myself off now before I break something ugh I need a beer; anyone?

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Monday, March 22, 2004
a weekend of top-drawerity

\Yes, in my laziness, I’ve outlined major weekend highlights for your reading pleasure.

Friday nite: amazing nap, Smidgies, AJs, dancing, anger, scandals!
Sat: Coffee, oatmeal-cleaning, coffee, downtown, coffee, deli lunch, coffee, nap
Sat night: Dins @ Shoeless Joe’s, Rum, AJs, free tanning, sign-stealing, boy with silly red headband, nicky-nicky-nine-door
Sun: sleep-in, breaky, chill, napper, Dins @ Peel Pub, concert @ Clarke Hall, music-listening in Amber’s room

LESSONS:
1. Kingston girls are generally mean, possessive and dayam fugly.
2. If you drink, don't make oatmeal.
3. Rainy Saturdays are best spent wandering downtown from coffee shop to coffee shop.
4. No need to fear a guy with white tanning goggles stuck to his forehead; in fact, he'll probably give you a free tan at 3am.
5. "Life is parabolic" as our red headbanded new friend Geoff explained.
6. Jack Kerouack knapsack band ruwels.
7. I need to get a toolkit.
8. I have the best friends eva.

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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
BOX DIVING ANNOUNCED AS OLYMPIC EVENT

Yes, I was a little gong this evening but thank god I had a worthy accomplice.
After all, 'tis a bit early to be home from St. Patrick's Day festivities, but I'm a bit sick yes I truly have been; boiling hot all night with mad nose runnyness which sucks a lot. However I always learn something new and tonight it was BOX DIVING which I highly recommend; thus I must go off about this before I go to sleep.
Apparently it is recycle day tomorrow, as all along Princess Street are great, beautiful stacks of cardboard boxes. On the way home from the Merchant Pub, genius Samad initiated a single dive into a stack, finding out the hard way that some were not quite empty. Regardless, such events sparked Maurice's interest and he and I dove gracefully with Sam into the next available stack. Apparently we were the only ones to find this funny. IS THIS NOT FUNNY? Laugh dammit, it's funny as hell. Heather- Samad would definetly steal a lawnmower.
Anyways good night I'm off to bedsers even though I can't stop laughing wickedly. I had fun being quasi-drunk with cold medication and I love you all.

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Tuesday, March 16, 2004
What's new, Pussycat?

My new kitty, Cat Stevens, will be moving in with me in May. I think I'll need the company since it's looking like I'll be roomateless for the summer.

I've decided he’s going to be a boy cat; a black kitten like the one I saw in the mall the other day and he will be very tough so that he can scare batty the bat away. No wimps will be raised under my roof.

I thought about naming him Tron after our FUBAR friend or Fang in loving memory of my deceased plant, but you know, Cat Stevens is a great artist who deserves to have my cat named after him. I am certain the feline Cat Stevens will be proud to hold such a name.

I bought some little toy mice and a badass collar with spikes so that I can corrupt Steven from day one. Yes, with my diligence and rigor, he will be pure evil just like mommy. I will post pictures after this blessed event occurs.

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Sunday, March 14, 2004
PIZZA BOY!

Life on a work-term seems to mesh one day into the next - you wake up in the morning and you don't know what day it is, or what you're going to do that night. All that matters is the number of days until Friday. To separate moments from the giant blob your memories become, you have to step away over the weekend and let loose!

I definitely need to see a shrink after this weekend man. It all began with Friday night. Dancing on an AJs side stage watching exstacy man do psychedelic liquid moves, countless people gettin it on, and laughing with Winter at the lack of hotness in Kingston, I decided that maybe bars are too cheezy for me now. Winter agreed and off we went to haus d'holmstead for some uh sleep.

The thing that sucks is that before Friday, the boy was like an eight-armed Hindu god in my mind. Is their a hindu god of lust and debauchery? Probably not, but it would look like him if there was. Saturday, I awoke and decided over breakfast with winter that maybe he isn't quite 8-armed; more like 4-armed or 2 even.

Saturday night I had the pleasure of rippin it up with Autumn, Jenn, Wint + Co at our favourite little dive-bar. Wint disappeared, Autumn was givin er full force with PizzaBoy#2 (she was very productive that evening), so it was me, Jenn and her bf's buddays left over. So we chilled at some dude's house for a while then I walked over to/ in on Autumn's love session without even realizing. Hey, a girl's got to get her keys.
Those two sisters are wild man, all night I was thinking "Shoooot this is where I'm heading if I don't watch it," then I thought "fucking right."

These series of events plus one other have lead me to question if he's even a god at all. Well, that was a bit mean but it's fun to say.
I, on the other hand, am a beer-helmet-asauras-rex who has flat out decided not to give two shits about boys anymore because I'm getting married to winter anyways and I have a fucking beer helmet for a head. Life is good!

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Thursday, March 11, 2004
I want cucumber in the worst way.

So guess what I did last night? Gonged. Yep, I needed to branch out; try something new. So we went to Tir nan nog, this big celtic pub downtown. There was celtic music (waaaay too happy) and of course beer. We chilled for a bit while ang+crew stayed into the wee hours.
Afterwards Winter, Captain Morgan and I spent some quality time dancing to Shaggy in my room and taking obscene photographs before hitting Elixir, the club of all clubs. Yes, it was a grand night out, but the evil thing is that on Hump-nite Wednesdays it’s $2 drinks. How cruel. At least Winter got a souvenir wink, wink
So here’s something to think about: I rolled out of bed and awoke to find that I had eaten a cucumber when I got home. Weird eh? Like, the whole thing.
After pondering this strange occurrence I came to my senses and slept all morning. No one at Alcan seemed to notice other than the Cupcake; mwahahahahaa I’m so corrupt.
I really hope I haven’t frightened any of you; really I do other things besides party it’s just a large portion of my Kingston experience.
I’m far too lazy to write anything interesting today and I find myself having these intense cucumber cravings. Gotta run!

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Sunday, March 07, 2004
My happiness, slowly creeping back

Actually, it isn’t creeping back slowly at all- it’s instantaneously been restored. Yes, now that I think about it, this song makes no sense because happiness never creeps back; it's either there or it's not. Well, with a name like Powderfinger they can’t be a group of geniuses now can they?
So yeah back to me. I am so damn happy it makes me want to puke. Ever seen some dumbass walking down the street alone with a shit-eating grin on her face? Well, that would be me. Why am I happy? Well, let me tell you. No, wait, I will make a list to add to my bliss.

REASONS WHY I AM HAPPY AS HELL
1. I have been eating a green thing every day
2. I met an awesome guy who says out like “ooooot”
3. I am getting a kitten in May
4. I have not been doing my history homework
5. It is sunny ooot
6. My friends rule
7. My mom and dad are gods
8. I am hyper from too much coffee

Yes, the list is endless. Though again I am hoping this particular blog will remind me in times of distress how amazing it feels to be happy after a dose of shittiness.

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Oh, and now for my night. This was interesting. So I was a bit choked because boy couldn’t come oot, but it was okay because I got to see Ang at THE GRIZZELY GRILL aka Club Mullet. Naturally, I was swillin’ like a villain and ended up making out with my friend Melissa ummm…. Right. It’s ok I think she understood. I also saw an older ration who kept following me around calling me ‘Jewel’ which was a bit irritating, so me, Melissa, random1 and random2 took off to her pad. Melissa and random1 were gettin it on and I am just so not into the random scene. I tried to run ooot but the random2 followed ugh which I guess was good because I had no idea where the hell I was.
So, I scored yet another walking K-towne tour only this time we explored the penitentiary grounds by accident. Let me tell you- that was pure creepyness.
Anyways, random2 managed to find my house where I tried to get rid of him but he just wouldn’t leave. So I allowed him to sleep on my couch and thank god he was gone this morning. I slept with one eye open no wait I was totally passed out. But I locked my door. Anyways, I think that’s enough vitamin G for one week.

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Wednesday, March 03, 2004
a big dose of vitamin G

Last night was gongtacular.

The thing that bit was that we couldn’t get wings due to the shitty-ass lineups at Shoeless and Brass, but Fiancee and I made our way to the Peel anyways. We had a splendid chat over browns and vegetables (?), then decided to call it a night. Except, for some beer-induced reason, we had our remaining broccoli wrapped up to go and rented FUBAR, the masterpiece of all cinema masterpieces. Genius really. Anyways, we called a few people to see who wanted to Giv ‘er with us, but unfortunately they were all preoccupied with weaker activities.
We needed something to do. Winter took advantage of my drunken compliancy and dragged me into Sketchies aka Townie Central where surprisingly we met some townies; and boy, were they impressed when we whipped out our leftover broccoli to share with them. After an hour of Sketchiness, I’d had enough and wanted sleep. Townie-Mike offered to walk me home as Winter-gong was still Givin ‘er hardcore. Earlier in the evening Townie-Mike didn’t seem to mind us chanting MIKEY-RATIONS MIKEY RATIONS at him so I figured he was ok.
The only problem was, neither of us was paying any attention during the walk and we ended up by the lake somewhere. It was okay though because I scored a walking tour of K-towne; we went downtown, through the ghetto and all around Queens (which was kind of cool considering I’ve never been there and live a block away hehe). It was getting pretty late by the time I found my house so we decided to check on the Winter.
We found her in a cloakroom with the bar owner. Ahem, they were just talking of course, but no night would be complete for Winter without an obnoxious Amber-lecture, so I gave her my best as Townie-Mike walked the two of us walked home.
Winter, I don’t think we should get married anymore. I’m really tired today and lately I feel like we’d be better off as we are. Gong!

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Monday, March 01, 2004
maybe philosophy doesn't suck

"Out of damp and gloomy days, out of solitude, out of loveless words directed at us, conclusions grow up in us like fungus: one morning they are there, we know not how, and they gaze upon us, morose and gray. Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in him!"
-Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900), Daybreak


This book is so hard to put down; I know I was Nietzsche's dog in a past life or something. Feels like it was written just for me and my senseless thoughts; but of course in Nietzsche-dialect, they actually make sense. hehe.
HAIL NIETZSCHE YOU SMART-ASS! YOU RULE!

....I had to write about this because so many quotes reminded me of things some of my buddays have said/blogged in the past….. hopefully this won't get me into too much trouble:

Winter: "Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!"

Heather: "Not by wrath, but by laughter, do we slay."

Angela: "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed."

Jessta: "There are no facts, only interpretations. "

Mikeys: “In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play. He turns all of his injuries into strengths, that which does not kill him makes him stronger.”

Paul: "What is bad? All that proceeds from weakness."

Peter: "The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything."



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