Amberations

Thursday, April 22, 2004
a little organic is good for the soul maaaaan

So last night I went out to Elixir but just wasn 't feelin it so I came home and smoked a lil' chron. I wrote the blog below and posted it in my state of sublime... it 's rather amusing. If anyone knows what the hell I was trying to say please enlighten me. Don't do drugs kids!


It is a world full of fools baybee, and egotistical idiots are taking over. Don 't panic though, stay with me and it will be ok.

Yes, stick with me, and everyone but us will die dumb and with unmindful offspring. And ignore that dog that 's been following you; his name is Ego and he isn 't as cute as he looks. See his games and refuse to partake. Know his facades; don 't let him fool you. Just get rid of him.

If you can lose Ego, you won 't be an idiot anymore and your style will come back. You will still be bored and twisted like everybody else but in time you will be stylish as well.

As for me, I am going to take my Rorschach test to see if I am sane. If you don 't hear from me by 3 this afternoon, call a doctor and tell them that I 'm somewhere in Megaffin Park and that I don 't have any allergies to any medicines.

It 's amazing what ego can do to mindset. It 's even more amazing what mindset can do for ego- it's all a mess really.


Rorschach test Ration (below):

look at this picture... tell me the first thing that comes to mind....

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Friday, April 16, 2004
Here's a tip: a closed mouth gathers no foot.

When your boss is a beetle-headed miscreant the work doesn't seem so motivating anymore. The rewards are minimal and hatred infests your body leaving you almost entirely ineffectual aside from first thing in the morning before he's had a chance to ruin your mood for the day. It isn't my boss's fault; he isn't a bad person really. There is just something incorrect with him. Like he was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
Sometimes I wonder if he is aware of my hatred but then I remember; he wouldn't get a clue if it came up to him, bit him on the ass, and said "I AM A CLUE". Yes, he's that thick. I need to start being more obvious.

I wonder what he would do if he read this. He'd probably whip off his hip-sack and safety goggles, wave his little latexed fists in the air and scream "SACRE BLEU!" at his computer before rushing to my office and shrieking through his thick French accent "A-HON-HON-HON! YOU ARE FIYARED AMBEARRRR -FIYARED! A-HON-HON-HON-HON-HON!"
As he continued to cackle Frenchly at the ceiling above, I would take a sharp extrusion off my shelf and slash off his head from behind, splattering poor Cupcake with French gore.
Ahhh I'm just kidding, decapitating my boss would only make an esthetic difference anyways.

Not that I fantasize about this moment of truth, really I don't; there's just nothing I find more humorous than an angry stupid Frenchman.

As for me, I think I need to invest some time purging this hatred from my soul in a creative fashion. So since I am updating my webpage, I may craft an area entitled "I Hate My Boss." Even better, maybe use company time to create it
muaahahahah.

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Tuesday, April 13, 2004
a more badass cough

This older dude I work with has been telling me all day that I cough like a girl. He even imitates a weak little "hackie hackie" everytime he passes me in the hall. This bugs me. I didn't think I did anything like a girl. I need to work on my cough; don't want to look like a wimp in front of the Alcan foundry men.

This brings me to an unrelated question: When did the typical Man metamorphose from a robust, ass-kicking, cow-eating meanie (like those found in the Alcan foundry) to a manicured, "metrosexual" sissy? Sorry for the general nature of my question. I don't know about the rest of you, but if I had a guy with softer hands, a quieter cough, and a more whiny personality then me, there would be problems, guaranteed.

So now I am beginning to wonder about myself here; like, is it okay that I don't have style? I need a haircut, I wear hoodies and sure don't have that "queer eye" everyone's been ravein' about. For crying out loud, it's becoming a parade of dayam pussies! And this is Kingston, just imagine the pussyness that goes on in the big cities; mind-boggling.

There isn't enough guys in this world whose normal expression is a glare. Where has the glare gone? I want a guy who glares. No need to be sensitive, it just gets in my way. Some brawn, adequate overall height, and a glare would be satisfactory. This is beginning to sound like a personals add isn't it? Let's get away from that.

Anyway, girly girls bug me off enough as it is, and if boys metamorphose into girls, I don't know what I'd do. Who would I go to escape girliness? Who would I talk about brainless shit with? For now I have the foundry men, but the future is looking grim.

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Monday, April 12, 2004
muahaahhahaha


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Sunday, April 11, 2004
a brand new sky to hang the stars upon

Happy Easter Buddays! I can't sleep due to the giggles... I hate that. It's this giggle ball Winter gave me! I love it!

This weekendsI celebrated Easter on Thurs, Fri, Sat.... and Sun.
Thursday evenin Winter and I attacked AJs, which was too lineupy for our likes so we chilled in the Grizz then rolled over to sketchies for.... what else? free drinks! Made 2 new buddays Nav and Greg (who gradded from MMAT at UBC!!!) in the process. MMATs are gods in general- impressive.

But perhaps the best part of Thursday was when sweet Timberlake found me later and sparked thangs up ... Amber is once again, the happiest girl alive :)
Slept in a bit too late as a result, ran over to Alcan to get my tests out, then came home for a glorious day of sleep. Before too long it was time to hit the Peel pub with Andrea and the engineerin' boys. A great time was had by all, however an even better time was had by me and Andrea following. Let's just say you ain't seen nothin' til you've seen a drunk blonde Andrea atop a stepladder on university avenue at 4am, stealing the Earl Street Sign between passing cars. Ah, Andrea my dear, I am so proud. And there is nothing suspicious about hanging out atop a mailbox; it's a good place to chill.
Afterwards, Since I couldn't bring my tired self to walk over to his pad I instead talked to Timberlake til about 7 that mornin, then enjoyed yet another wonderful day of.... sleep. Some might call this a wasted day however I feel it is a worthwhile time investment.

Saturday night debauchery included Smidgies with the Holmstead fellas; pretty standard really. Got to sleep not too late.

Today (Sunday) was the top drawerest though... I got up early to see Timberlake in the mornin', had a visit with winter, and then cooked up a mass Easter brunch with Andrea for our rowdy crew. By the time all had been said and done, It was 3pm on a gorgeous day which was to be spent chillin on the porch with the Winter, some tea and our favourite ol punk tunes. Just amazin'....
Not to be a Brendan wannabe here, but I couldn't resist a "FUCKIN RIGHTS" upon hearing these foo lyrics as the sun went down... It's times like these you learn to live again....
ah, cheesey I know but I am luvin it.

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Wednesday, April 07, 2004
No slip n slide for me

So I bought a hose yesterday. I have no clue why; I just do random things from time to time. For example, I'll go out intending to buy ravioli and come home with two buckets of paint and an application for the Aeromiles Visa Card. Mind-boggling. I think it's due to my very short attention span, or so I've been told. My attention span doesn't deter me at all though because most people don't mind that I'm not really listening for the most part anyways; they just keep talking and talking.

So anyways I bought a hose even though we have no water faucet outside. I thought of giving it to Winter, but I don't think she has an outdoor faucet either. Hmmm can't think of anyone else who would want it so maybe I should just return it.

Come to think of it, what the hell was it that I went out to get in the first place? Oh yes, I had run out of bagels. I went out to get some at Loblaws, but I came home with a damn garden hose from Crappy Tyre.

Kind of coinsidental because lately when I've been trying to get a specific something, I don't get it. Then by the time I forget about it and decide it's not important, it jumps off the shelf at me and I remember why I wanted it in the first place. Ain't that just like the big cheese to mess with our heads tsk tsk.

But yes, I am a bit sad about my garden hose; I remember now, I had big plans for it involving a babypool on my deck and a slip n slide along Earl Street. It is too bad.

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Monday, April 05, 2004
April Whiner

The only thing April is good for is Keg parties and the animalistic mayhem following exams. Otherwise everyone seems to be distressing over some kind of defect or state of withdrawal. As for me, I feel like a self-contained gongshow; all I can think about is summertime when responsibility is ensuring that you have a good time. I figure I will do something to make the Guinness book of world records this summer. I looked it up and no one has carved 18 chain links from a single toothpick yet; the conversation it would make at the next keg party would be exquiset.
"Yeah, I once carved 18 chain links out of a single toothpick. What did you say you study again? Commerce?"

This is the kind of thing in July everyone should do. You should also not pay credit-card bills, eat whatever crap you want, drink drink drink, and throw rowdy Mexican parties every weekend night. Hm I guess I already do most of these things but you get the idea.

So I should be in a good mood from now on but no guarantees. I guess I really have no point of blog here other than I had a nice weekend of pre-summerness reuniting with my roommates and the engineers. I got to play in a construction site, dabble in a gigantic pitcher of beer over the Leafs game, and get Andrea extremely intoxicated at a mix-your-own-drink keg party of sorts.

The only thing that is sucking is that I have nowhere to go this summer unlike my buddays mentioned above. There, I came to terms with it. My name's Amber and I have nowhere to go. Been chillin here for twelve minutes thinking, and there really is nowhere to go. It's okay though because summer is coming and soon I will get to do the most foolish of things and make 18 chain links out of a single toothpick- my intellect is impressive, I know.
Anyways, I need to find somewhere to go this summer. any ideas?

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Sunday, April 04, 2004
MY LIFE IS A STRUGGLE!

Hey There, who knows why some of my letters are all messed up on this thang (below entry)?
Happy Sunday....

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