Amberations

Friday, July 30, 2004
it's the end of the world as I know it

Not so long ago my Kingston world/bubble came to an end. It was kind of wack; dozens of familiar people ceased to exist all of a sudden, all with no time for me to prepare! It wasn't like they stopped moving or speaking or living; they just were not in Amberations one day. Admittedly I was hoping I'd see them before they vanished, but I guess it's to be expected during the summertime.

So, this aside, what I need now is enough inner power to keep me going until I feel I've earned the right to stop working. The trick of it is to ignore most everything and concentrate on the things that are pressing, that is besides drinking OE and dancing like a ghetto-fool. This way everything doesn't seem so gargantuan you see.

It's been a while since I've made a list. It is time for a list.

AMBER'S VITALS:
-finish tests
-write report
-project presentation
-study for history
-pack up my shit
-cupcake, jenny, gina, ereek, chris, galvin, kenny, andrea, autumn, winter, assface

That's not so bad.

Anyways, my nomad vision is finally coming together! Cupcake and I bought a wicked tent last night and camped out in my living room (much to the alarm of an intoxicated Andrea returning from a Peel Pub gonging). I plan to transfer the tent to my bedroom immediately and spend my last few K-towne sleeps in nomad madness!! Although there will be no skinned groundhogs I am confident that peanut butter sandwiches will be involved.

There will be but two more ghetto parties, one amber-jenny bar show, one girls 'sex in the city' night, a warped tour, one less frenchboss, and one stresscase of an Amber. Oh yes and dinner with le petit gateau this evening :)

So I'll leave you with the newly developed "amber and cupcake do middle-america" itinerary and a nice thought I had today: things don't always work out as planned, but they always work. Hasta luego!

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Friday, July 23, 2004
the idiots have now taken over

We all know the world is filled with idiots. This is not a new complaint in Amberations however my new complaint has spawned from the fact that most idiots consider themselves not to be idiots and thus would agree with my feelings that the world is full of idiots. Any Frenchboss would agree. ZEE WORLD IZ FULL OF IDIOATS AHON HON HON!!!
Can I do away with this obstruction? Am I an idiot?

I am 90% sure I am an idiot. For one, I laugh like one. So does Jenny-asauras. Jenny is an idiot. It is ok to be an idiot. Like at a midsummer night's dream last night; idiocy central man.

I love drama folk. I never was one of those dramatizing-actor persons but they seem to place themselves on a certain pedestal that intimidates the shit out of me, while humoring me into drool-mode at the same time. Then if you have yourself on a pedestal in the first place, you can be knocked off of it, which can be fun to think about. So drama people, and their pedestals, are idiots too.

Anyway, hi my name is Amber and I am confused on this cloudy Friday in my cubicle and I think I have inhaled too many metal bits. However I have one theory for lucky you. Idiocy is not something you are born or cursed with as a baby left too long on your jolly-jumper. It is rather the accumulation of confused thought in general. Therefore, we are all idiots and I am right.

Looking forward to tonight's idiot-marathon in the ghetto! Happy Friday!

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Wednesday, July 21, 2004
ZR-Gay

Today I devised a resourceful plan. I decided that it would be best to collect up all of my ZRA equipment and data and burn it. Alcan will be happier for it, you see. Oh yeah and I am becoming a drifter, a nomad of sorts. From now on you can find me tenting in the open field behind KRDC. Tonight I will be having my ZRA bonfire and feasting on leftovers from the cafeteria. In future I will craft outfits from the skin of groundhogs which I will ambush in the middle of the night. I will be feared and disliked by all. My legend will be retold to students throughout the ages. It will be terrific.

Just thought I'd share.

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Tuesday, July 20, 2004
detoxification is watermelon and an orange floaty

I just had a memory of this Korean energy healer guy at UBC who once waved sticks at me and said he had to open the window because he was detoxing a horrid stink out of my soul and couldn't breathe. I think he might have been fucking with me but it's hard to say.

So yeah, I still don't know the key to this soul-detox or whatever, but I do believe that the key to getting a stinky-ass soul in the firstplace is by trying to please everybody. This is one of the reasons why I've decided not to be repulsed by Frenchboss anymore. We have an understanding now. I understand that he is a lonely, yet still beetle-headed Frenchman who spends his weekends aiming to please his superior PhD-types, while he understands that I find his soul smellier than Lake Ontario.
I have no concerns whatsoever that this 'kindness through understanding' mantra will work for the two of us.

My biggest concerns currently include the feverish rate at which I have been eating watermelon, my grubby feet, and the maintenance of my new orange floaty mattress. Knowing that soon enough I'll be going through Kingston withdrawal, in the meantime I'm trying to do the best I can, play as hard as I can, get to know people as well as I can, and have regular moments where I laugh/drool like a retard, etc; all these things are priorities.

So, while poor Lake-Ontario-souled frenchboss is stressing away these summer weekends running tests, I don't think I have ever felt more relaxed and strong; like everything is working right inside of me for once. Yep, no stink in my head whatsoever (aside from the one Lake Ontario leaves lingering in my hair)
Awesome weekend- Carpediem!

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Monday, July 12, 2004
too warm out for pandas

Yes I am a tired Panda. But not too tired to procrastinate finishing the report I blew off.
Indeed, t'was a weekend of Gong, but not the usuall kind of gong; it was quality gong, quality. Friday was fantastic; Jenny came over, we got ready, we drank Eric's beer (it was good, thanks man hehehe), we met up with Brenda and PP, then mumbled on over to the York St Party house (YSPH). Welcomed by a herd of wild, drunken, drinking-gaming beasts, we had some serious catching up to do. We got serious in the kitchen with two of PPs friends who had cool Eastern accents, the kind that say 'house' like "HOWWWOOOSE".

Anyway, the drinking game to follow viciously kicked my ass and for some reason I decided to walk home earlyish (12am? 1am?). I came to my senses and turned back to YSPH. However on my way back I stumbled upon a friendly-looking group of 4 pierced, dreadlocked hippyish guys playin' guitar on their patio; it made drunken sense to invite myself up for a beer, some chron, and some sing-song action for an hour or two.

Yes, they were of a nice sort; I ran into them the next morning but had to decline a coffee as I was to do some intense shoppin' with the Jenny and the G.
Sat night was pretty standard really: people came over, people gonged merrily on our ghetto porch, PP played Freek-a-leek repeatedly on my now busted speakers, and people braved GayJs (which made me cranky after a mere 30mins- the music was gay.)

My faceplant didn't occur until a bit later, and I've been told it was performed at YSPH in the living room somewhere. Hmm not really sure what else to say about that, although this whole question of 'is amber asleep or awake' is kind of creepy.

Sunday I awoke the Jenny-asauras-REX bright and early so that we could walk home and beachagize with the Alcanians. Beach was extremely cool; good tunes, dunes, good eats, and intense silliness with the usual silly characters.
Good people-watchin too; there was this groovy rasta guy and his girlfriend who looked like they walked of the back cover of Catch a Fire, and a large, cool-looking old lady of Eastern European heritage I think; she looked like she could make a mean borscht and dumplings, you know? People-watching kicks ass.
This is getting long, so I will say that this summer is getting more splendid by the minute thanks to these wickedly wacked people I get to hang with. It is fun but a little too hot.


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Thursday, July 08, 2004
PANDADISE LOST..... ("Pandadise" and other panda words of brilliance created by Lyle)

Hello.
I am thinking about a meadow full of happy Pandas. I am in seventh heaven. I realize that I do not know exactly what a happy panda looks like but I don't care, it makes me happy even so. Yes, I am a very happy egg here at Alcan International with my cup of chamomile tea.
Life is interesting. Sometimes you've got to remember to turn the furnace off before you leave, sometimes you've got to finish the last three sections in your report like you promised; other times you've got to say THE HELL WITH IT ALL! and leave it at that, it all depends.

Most times you've just got to blog crazy nonsense to be read by normal people who will read the nonsense. I imagine they would read it in a slapdash fashion, eyeroll and think dramatic things such as 'ohhh to be wack, tis a curse, a curse it is!'

I have a bit of a cold I think- just a little stuffy and droopy and tuckered out. This nice tea I made from downstairs will make me feel grrrrreat though. Great enough to decide whether I'm going home to cozy bed or staying here to finish this piece of shit. Hmm. Piece of shit or Cozy sleep?

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Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Heaven is a faceplant

I miss the parents. I'm glad they don't worry too much about me over there; must be that Mexican sunshine (or gongshine) hehe. Every time I talk to Dad I remember how fockin cool he is! Anyways, Papasito called last night to say Que Pasa, just as his Amberita was stumbling home from an evening of silliness with Assface (aka Peter), his new patio, and a few cervezas gong gong. It was ok though, Dad didn't seem all that affected by my state of sublime. Anyways, he got me excited about going home to BC, and maybe they will have us for Navidad in Puerto, surfin season... tubular... dude...

But you know, this week in K-towne has been surprisingly amusing, thanks to the new ass-kicking musique in my collection (compliments of zee Ereeeeek!), my first archery experience (from Chris!), and a more tolerable (yet ever annoying!!) Frenchboss. AHON HON HON!

As for the weekend, Friday night was spent mangling my foot trying to get that dayam glass out. Since all my friends are wussier than I, it was up to me. Anyways, it was a success, I still have my foot, life is good. Saturday I can't remember what the hell I did. I know that earlyish in the evenin Jen, Eric, Brenda, Mo, Paul came on over with the intentions of going out to GayJs, but circumstances pending we ended up farkled at 1:30am and still hadn't stepped foot out of the house. I think my evening ended with one of those glorious facedown Amber passouts that we've all come to know and love.

Anyways, time to get back to my gaybar report! AHHH MATATE TETE!

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Monday, July 05, 2004
H to the R to the P to the CRANKAY!

You know, I worry about some people at work. I mean, one of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

Human resource people (HRPs, man) in big companies like ours are no exception- they are always so moody! Why is that? Are their jobs really that stressful? They shouldn't bother being so nice initially if they're viciously stressed-out beasts in reality.

Don't get me wrong here, the typical co-op student has no problem being talked down to by such authority beasts (so long as they have smug, condescending voices and French accents hehehe). But to be talked down to by human resource people seems strange to me; like, aren't they supposed to be pleasant and LIKE humans? What sort of certification do they need exactly?

HRP's should have to be nice at all times and have minimal evil lurking within. Intelligence of the HRP is not important so long as it ranks somewhere between tying your own shoe laces and not choking to death on your own drool; however I have yet to meet one chipper HRP.

I am confident the world would be a better place if human resource people were friendly. That is all the advice I have for now. Thank you.

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Thursday, July 01, 2004
Have no fear, frenchboss is here

Ever thought about what your worst fear in life is? After wonderland, I was sure mine was THE BAT; now I realise that my greatest fear is failure. It's like that play by Arthur Miller, "death of a Salesman". I fear becoming the delusional salesman, man.

I think stress comes from the fear of not being able to perform. Like the brazing furnace for example. It didn't perform properly at all this week- it must be very stressed out now.
Now the frenchman will be cranky with me tomorrow because the furnace is focked thus I'm behind, and didn't put in extra time like he does because my foot hurts- I got a piece of glass stuck in it last night during my time of gong and walking doesn't exactly tickle.
Oh yeah, and my standard operating procedure wasn't "research-based enough" for the losers at UBC. This pisses me off. I'll have to write another one this weekend for the wash-ups!!

What if I don't get this gaybar report finished? What if I don't find somewhere to live in Vancouver? What if mom and dad hate now me, seeing as we haven't talked in weeks? What if everyone in BC has stayed the same and I'm different? What if I just stay in my room for the rest of my life listening to Voodoo Child? Why aren't you freaking out with me?
Oh yeah and did we really go to the Brass Pub last night? Because I don't remember being there.
Anyway, time's a wastin, fear is a waste of time, therefore nothing is allowed to scare me anymore except for you-know-who (AHHH OUAI AHMBERE OUAI OUAI)

Bonne Fete Cher Canada!

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