Amberations

Friday, August 27, 2004
talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much

The other day I arrived in Calgary to be greeted by this weird long-haired pepsi-guzzlin, wine-pouring Adams girl. Yes folks, this is my sister Andrea; my fellow AA. This is the girl who'll get ya tossed out of a bar only to smear you with peanut butter, leaving you to pass out with some random strangers she's invited into her apartment. Such fun when I'm with my sister, such fun!

Anyway I'm having a great time here in Calgary, we've been very well-behaved for the time being. Thursday night we went out with the tenove brothers and friends, yesterday we had "Drunken Craft Night with the Adams Sisters", painted some things and passed out pretty early. Oh yeah and i bought a lot of crap.

So this trip will be full of culture people, CULTURE!! I find myself deeply intrigued with this whole Calgarian cowboy movement and have decided to brave a country bar on Saturday. Most of the night will be spent running away from the cupcake and his dancing moves, but I will make a solid effort to not laugh at people line-dancing. No guarantees! Is there a dress code? I don't have anything tasseled.

Anyway, gotta run outta here man, but here's some cool shit going down:
1. cow-town zoo today to see the big kitties
2. Latino Fest tomorrow! I'm eatin chimichungas, I'm dancin all spanish-like, and I'm drinking some serious ceveza beachilataaaaaaas! Will Molotov be there?
3. Cowboys saturday night. Don't squat with yer spurs on! hahaha losers

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Thursday, August 12, 2004
the meatball

I've decided to give our favourite human resource wench "THE MEATBALL". THE MEATBALL is a poisenous meatball of sorts, designed to be fed to that irritating dog next store, its owner, your human resource person at work, whatever. It's a figure of speech, but a grand one.
Anyways just thought I'd drop a little blog to say that things are progressively getting less sucky. After my exam tomorrow I will be HOME FREE BAYBEE and quite possibly drunk enough to get fully naked and fock up some serious coffee tables. The ol tolerance is getting pretty low by now I'm sure.

Tomorrow is going to be awesome, possums. I can't wait to....
1. Have some beer
2. Enjoy 'Nature' with Ereek
3. Get busted by Ranger Cupcake
4. Dance with Jenny
5. Draw on Kenny
6. Pass around the aviators
7. Listen to ASHA ASHA AHHHHHHH, One, Funky Monks, and other quality ghetto music.
8. Make like electric circus with Bon Bon
9. Make Chris drink things
10. Give Galvin a haircut
11. Feed Gina soda crackers

the list is endless!
see ya tomorrow my gurus of ghetto

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Monday, August 09, 2004
my girl's INSAAAAANE (but it's alright)

hey there... was just talking with an old friend of mine. I tend to bug old friends over MSN when I'm avoiding ZRA reports. He says he is sick and tired of hot, stupid girls and their dayam games so he is going to Guatemala.

He's always been too polite in my books, so it didn't surprise me when he told the story of his being schmoozed by a travel agent lady (another hot, stupid girl). He said by the time the hot travel agent had finished showing him all these brochures and pictures he felt he couldn't just walk out so before he knew it he was paid and going to Guatemala, even though he really can't afford it.

This happens to me every time I go to a meeting with RealBoss (as opposed to FrenchBoss). I simply can't leave without agreeing to do many marvelous things; I will feel bad for taking up his PhDs-ness' time. It feels so wrong if I don't agree to do marvelous things. So now I've got a huge list of "to-do" for Thursday because I'll feel bad if I don't do.

My old friend and I are very much alike I think, thus we both agreed to try our bests not to think about Guatemala and "to-do" for the next couple hours. I will go to the gym while he will reads his book, we'll regroup at 8:30, we'll freak out, then we'll worry about it tomorrow.

4 days left and I want to be sedated bahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Friday, August 06, 2004
well shit

AMBER IS TOP DRAWER.
and decided to be a baby about it and go to the doc again today. Plus people had started to laugh at the limp because she'd stick her ass out and hop like a nerve disorder victim. She'd been wussing out a lot these days..... a vicious cycle really.
So yeah with the cupcake out of town she braved the hospital, had an xray done (which revealed no glass), then let the doctor mangle her foot with his scalpel before he yanked a small chard out from the depts of her mid-foot. Really small, so small the doc wondered if there was more glass madness inside her still. he poked around in the wound a bit more, then left her with a set of crutches, a mangled foot, and some encouraging words of advice, "if it still hurts in 5 days, there's still glass inside"
Thanks tips.

I'm so worried. All of a sudden my plans are being threatened by some asshole chard!
What if I can't go hiking with Cupcake on our trip? How am I going to go to the gym, get to work etc? Sorry for the venting. It is just so disappointing.

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Thursday, August 05, 2004
put on your shit kickers

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle I find it much too confining. However today I will tell of something other than gay theories.

And sorries to everyone who has had to deal with the wrath of cranky amber this week!

Good news: Packed up my shit last night! well, not my stereo of course, but all the other shit.

Bad News: Threw out the birth certificate somehow; had to unpack all the shit in hopes of finding it.

Good News: Found a beautiful place to live in Vancouver with my sorority sister Jenn and this groovey jazz musician named Mike. there is a piano :) this place is the shit.

Bad News: this place is in Kerrisdale (K-Dale= mad expensive!)

Have a shitty weekend everyone!

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Wednesday, August 04, 2004
shake your ichibanban

Never succumb to the better, less-silly judgment of others; just trust your own guts. Unless you've just had ichiban and 10ounces of rum. Then you might want to just chill a while and make sure you're thinking straight, wearing flip-flops, are fully-clothed, in front of an upright coffee table... things like that.

Anyway we all know that The Silly People are either from a far distant planet inhabited by an alien race, or they're from BC. I know it sounds absurd, but if you think about it long enough it will make sense. You'll get a headache as well, but it'll go away eventually Jenny.

So yesterday in my packing binge I got rid of all my flip-flops and got to thinking "sweet, it's clear, glass-in-foot-free sailing from here on in". Then this morning I'm slicing open my bag of Epsom salts to soak my glassy foot in and I slice the shiza out of my index finger with the dull bread knife I'm using. Naturally I freak out and start screaming obscenities (Fock YOUUUU!!!! MOTHER OF FOCKIN FOCKFACE! DAYAM IT DAYAM IT!!! CUPCAKE YOU ASS!) then less-than calmly apply paper towel with light pressure to the oozing flap of skin remaining.

It wasn't until teatime much later that I thought over the whole incident, and got to thinking that I will never grow up and will forever be an ichiban-eating, injury-prone freak. Overcoming the injury-prone thing could prove challenging, but the secret to ichiban is very simple. NEVER put the flavor packet in with the noodles when they're cooking. Put it in the bowl, add the cooked noodles and a little water. Noodle heaven.


Injury-inducing events coming up:

Trews tonight
Dinner with Bon-Bon tomorrow
Party with Assface Sat (et Gina?)
My presentation (it is gonna suck ass!! I just can't wait!)

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